Meaningless .

Hello people .

I'm so sick . I feel that I'm very weak . Having cough , nose block , headache . Point , doctor say I got throat infection . Maybe is the weather =/ but I hope I getting better soon .

I feel like I'm getting older . Like a old women . My brains always hurt . Is like , something inside . I don't know what's that . I don't know who to talk too . Cause they don't believe me . And I look perfectly fine . But , actually I'm not trying to act it out . I am seriously . You may think I may . I know . I this week very okay . Next week suddenly sick . And next week again I'm fine . But fact is , not I want to be in this state . And I'm not acting , okay ? I not so dramatic . Friends around me say the way I act , the way I talk , the way I am , IS SO DRAMA ! Okay . WHAT THE FARKING HELL PROBLEM WITH YOU GUYS SAYING ME LIKE THIS ? Seriously , I got problem . And I would like to speak out . But there's no one willing . Although if have one .What they do ? One ear in , another ear out . Ask me to chill . Don't think so much . Blahblahblah . Whatever . I very relax . I can't control some stuff . I very emotional . I can cry it out very easy . I like to shout it out loud . I want to punch the punching bag as hard as I'm happy with it . I need your shoulder , boy . You are my only one I do really love you .

Why didn't you think ? That time I just broke up with him . You came . You make me put on my smile back . And now you hurt me . Deeply . You make me cry whole night . Like from 2am plus to 5am plus . I everytime 6am fall asleep . You can sleep so soundly . I can't . You are happy to throw me away . You very happy if I go home . I prove to you everything . But , you seems to be so heartless . You now treat me as friend . And you just pity me . Cause I'm sick . And I'm at your house . I don't want your sympathy . I just want your love . You already given up . You told me , you can't accept it anymore . And you want break just for your future sake . So what about me ? What about my future sake ? I can find a better guy ?, No . If they know about my past . Do you think they will accept ? You want me to leave you . You want me to let down . What if I really want to die ?I really cannot live anymore . I already got no choice . A lot people hate me . A lot people dislike me . A lot people don't like me . They really don't bother to care . I just need you . And I really want you . I willing to do things for you . But , do you ? Never ! You never did something to let me proud . I just want you to stay beside me now . I don'twant everything already . I just want you ad only you <3

I wish , you really can love me back , deeply , forever .