What am I thinking of ?

Get my happiness back !

BORED .

Today , I nothing to say . Didn't go school . And I though it will be a happy day for me in this 3 days . But I get nothing . Sigh . Mood changes . Never mind , I'm tired of everything now . Hate being that someone accuse me . WTH . What's wrong ? Idk . Just that ... Forget it . Think twice , never mind . I'm so jealous of Nixie . She so childish . Not really . Just damn jealous of her guy . Her guy love her so much . When they break up . Nixe's bf was hoping to meet her . And not her to meet him in rush . Seriously , if I got a guy in this . Wa , what a last . I think mine , forget it . I just won't have a last long relationship . I admit , guys , I do have a lot . But some of you all will ask , why don't choose them . I answered , I don't like them , although they are rich , handsome , good and blahblah good comments . Cus I not interested in them . Agree , I finding for Samuel . Cus I would like have a double check . Why do they look so alike . Seriously !! Never mind , I don't have a chance . And maybe or sooner , I gotta single . Serious . Cus I don't think I can hold it any longer for anymore now . Let me have a peace for this few days . Yarh , guys . Sorry , I trying to avoid you all . Not I don't want text you all . I really don't want text you all . Hahhs , not joke -.- . Okay , bye .

What's wrong with you ? Can you pull yourself together ? Why are you twirling back to how it was a year ago . Hugging yourself tightly in the room , nothing turned on . Clutching your phone tight while waiting for his reply nor calls , your vision blurred from all those tears , you shuddered with fear and torment of heartbreaks . Stomach keep on cramp-ing like hell pain . Vomit with seriously needed . Headache some more . Brain burst up ! Feel so giddy . You told yourself , it lies with the person ; the previous person . Then why are you back to square one ? Does the problem lies with you now ? I don't think so .  Tears flowing in your eyes now . Girl , brace up ! Pull yourself together and wipe off those tears .. Your heart shatters into pieces , where is he ? Maybe having his fun then doing his things . A guy lie once , he'll still lie again . You don't blame him . You blame yourself . Blame yourself why are you such a failure . Why can't you get things right and always quarrel with him . Why did you make him so stress up that he turn to others . Yea, blame yourself girl . Blame yourself . No one's going to care for you or clear up your mess this time . You can rot all you want in bed , don't get up , you won't be able to face the world , you'd just cry and be a burden to everyone . Just lie in bed .... Am I seriously damn childish towards you ? Just for you and was you ? No , you heard from people's comment . Past , you won't say I am . Since you changed work . I was jealous over it . Am I that naive ? Maybe , just being jealous with it . Don't you will ? Nah , you think yourself are far too mature ! What shall care of ?! Right ? I don't think you really know me well . Or you do is , just give money , and all done . Think money could bring nor bought it my happiness ?! No please . I need a day from you . Can ?? Just once . When we watch television together , we walk around together , we crazy hyper up together , share some past story together or game together . Misses those days . Remember me on past . I hope it will get thru it ... Lastly , hope you read it , now . Shawn Yeo <3